There is currently, even as I type this, an older gentleman on the roof of the house. He is sweeping the chimneys. He seems a little stiff for his line of work. Hang on tight up there, sir.
I was afraid, knowing the state of disrepair of other things in the house, that he would come over and take a look and say that we need serious repairs before we can use the fireplaces. (There are three fireplaces, just another testament to the original builder's flair for classy livin'.) But so far the only bad news the guy has given me is that we need a chimney cap. He took me outside and pointed to all the neighbors' houses and said, "See that chimney cap? See that one? See that one? Now look at your chimney." So that lesson was $130, which I feel okay about relative to the other repairs we have to do around this place.
If he gives us the all clear then we get to order firewood and have classy fireside times all winter long. Probably wearing turtlenecks and listening to jazz music and sipping cognac.
UPDATE: Tom succeeded in not falling off the roof and has indeed given the okay to use the fireplaces. He even gave me a little report card with all the items they inspect and checked the "satisfactory" box all the way down. I'm so proud of our satisfactory chimney! Way to not be broken, thing on our house!
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