What Happens When Things Get Ugly on eBay

Okay, so... the gravel art. I know I have a little problem with it but sometimes I just go on a collecting spree until I feel the itch has been sufficiently scratched. I think I'm nearing that point because there's not a lot of suitable hanging space left in the bathroom and I don't want to grow this collection beyond the bathroom, because then it becomes less of a goofy theme and more of an "Oh, this is all over your house and maybe you don't understand it's ugly?" kind of decor statement. 

So the last you saw was this: 

Peacock, poodle and kitty. Okay.

Then I got this, which I haven't yet hung up: 

OMG, a colorful parrot! Hello, friend!

I have alerts set up on eBay so that every morning they send me an email of the postings that use the term "gravel art." Which is how, a few weeks ago, I came across this: 

(This is the eBay photo; that is not my house in the background.)

The listing said: "Up for auction is a Vintage Gravel Art Sequin Peacock Velvet Picture Mid Century Modern Eames Era . The picture and frame are in great used condition. I looked it over many times and didnt see anything missing but just in case there is I will say that this is over 20-30 yrs old so it may have a missing bead or design pattern piece. The bird sticks out of the picture a little and is really cool I tried to get it in the side view picture but you really cant see it. These pictures are very unique and getting hard to find. Feel free to ask questions and make offers !!"

It had a Buy It Now price of $29.99 and I really liked the vivid colors, so I decided to treat mah-self. Okay. It arrived about a week later, and upon opening it I realized a) it had a strong reek of cigarette smoke, and b) there was no gravel. The peacock and tree were all fabric (kind of like iron-on patches) and ribbon. It DID have a black velvet background like my other pieces, but the object itself... not gravel. 

At this point I was a little bummed, since this was a departure from my THEME, but I was still willing to keep the thing. BUT, I felt like I wouldn't have paid as much for it had I known it wasn't truly gravel art. I put it on the porch to air out the smell and sent the seller this message: 

Hello- I've received the picture and it's cool... but I'm disappointed to find that it isn't actually gravel art as stated in the listing, as I've been working specifically on collecting gravel art. As such, I'd like to ask for a concession on the price. Would you be willing to refund $15?
  
She responded with:
Hi,
I am sorry that you are not pleased with your item but if have you been working specifically on collecting gravel art then you would have noticed it in the picture. This is gravel art and described correctly and since I do not take refunds or returns I cannot not help you. I am sorry again but this item is described correctly and if I make a exception for you just because you didn't look close enough or didn't like it when you finally got it then that avoids the whole purpose of selling on ebay. Thanks !

This is when my righteous indignation alarm went off. There's kind of a whole culture to selling on eBay about making your best attempt to describe items accurately. How could this lady be calling the piece gravel art when it did not have a single bit of gravel on it? 

SO I TOOK HER TO eBAY COURT, i.e. opened up a case in the "Resolution Center" under eBay's Buyer Protection program. I had never done this before in 10 years of buying on eBay, but it was pretty simple. You and the seller both get a chance to state your side of the issue and then the powers-that-be at eBay decide who is RIGHT and who is WRONG. 

Here's my statement: 

The item was listed as "Vintage Gravel Art Sequin Peacock Velvet Picture Mid Century Modern Eames Era." I reviewed the pictures and the listing before purchasing, but found upon its arrival that it is not actually gravel art- there is NO gravel on the piece; only fabric and beads. (Background on gravel art can be found here: http://www.lippsisters.com/2012/08/29/ive-got-peggys-gravel-art-well-half-of-it/) This is not clear in the photos as some of the fabric looked like gravel to me. I requested a price concession from the seller, who replied that the item IS gravel art and was described correctly, and will not give a refund or take a return. 

Here is her statement: 

This item was bought at a local street fair. The vendor only sells vintage gravel art. There were 3 pictures and they all have the close up option. Just because gravel is in the title does not mean gravel is actually used in the picture it is called that because of the items that are used...beads,feathers,velvet,yarn.pattern,etc and yes sometimes gravel but not always....there are no rules to art...I see abstract paintings of people all the time and see the same art called abstract that has no people at all....does that mean since there inst a person in the second abstract painting mean its not abstract then? NO RETURNS OR REFUND IS CLEARLY STATED !! THIS IS A PIECE OF GRAVEL ART....LOOK AT THE PICTURES NEXT TIME !!

So, some thoughts on this: 
1. What a lovely person!
2. Lady went DEEP with that whole "there are no rules to art" thing. Yeah, it's like... if I paid $10,000 for an "oil painting" and then found that the materials used were actually ketchup and Sunshine Downy, I might say to the artist, "Hey, I thought this was an 'oil painting,'" and then she might say to me, "Hahaha, that's all part of the statement, you fool. This piece is really about the nature of EXPECTATIONS and the meaning of TRUST in modern society! THERE ARE NO RULES TO ART."

Okay, but, that's not really how eBay rolls. Pretty much immediately after the seller entered her side of the story, the customer service people made their call: 

So initially all I wanted was a price concession but by this time I was feeling such bad juju toward that stupid thing that I was glad to be rid of it. They gave me a prepaid shipping label and I wrapped it up (I think the smell had in fact improved during its time on the porch; you're WELCOME, lady) and sent it back. 

That's not quite the end though! Guess what the seller did immediately upon receiving it back? POSTED IT AGAIN WITH THE SAME DESCRIPTION CALLING IT GRAVEL ART. She also added this charming note in the listing: 

THIS ITEM IS BEING RELISTED ...THIS IS GRAVEL ART...ITS THE DEFINITION OF GRAVEL ART IN FACT WHEN YOU GOOGLE IT THIS AND THE OTHER PEACOCK PICTURE THAT I SOLD ALSO AS GRAVEL ART APPEARS...........WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE 3 PICTURES TRY OPENING YOUR EYES TO THE DETAIL OF BEAD AND FEATHER WORK THAT WENT INTO THIS UGLY 70'S SPECIAL. THERE ARE ALSO THESE THINGS CALLED QUESTIONS THAT PEOPLE TEND TO ASK BEFORE BUYING.....TRY ONE....I HAVE NO PROBLEM ANSWERING.  THANK YOU! 

Girl sticks to her guns, let's give her that! 

The grand finale is the mutual feedback we left for each other yesterday. Shockingly, I gave her negative feedback, which sellers haaaate. 

And then she returned the favor, but somehow marked it as "positive." 

I will say this: If I am in fact a scammer, I am truly terrible at it because this whole escapade took up my time and I've got nothing to show for it. Nothing, I guess, except this story. 

So what have we learned?

1. I am a loser and usded feedback as a threat !!!

2. eBay Buyer Protection actually works, or at least it did in this case. 

3. Most importantly, there are no rules to art.