Saturday, May 18, 2013

Related Thing I Learned This Week

Did you know that you can pull dandelions out of your lawn for hours, literally hours, and then wake up the next morning and see like 15 g-d little yellow blooms in your yard, which totally were not there yesterday, meaning they literally grew like 300 percent overnight, like they're on plant 'roids or something? Did you know this could happen? And when your parents told you a month ago that you needed to apply herbicide RIGHT THEN, or you'd be sorry, and you were all, "Oh blah blah, runoff, water quality, I'm a hippie and I'm not going to do that, blah blah," your parents were actually 100 percent correct? And even still you could have applied corn gluten meal, which is totally eco friendly, but now you have missed the springtime window and you are doomed to pull dandelions all summer long. You are doomed and your lawn is doomed. "Your lawn." How did we get here, in life?

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